I had no desire to read Harry Potter. Ever. When it first hit the scene, there was so much hype, and then the movies and the hype. It all seemed a little crazy and frantic. People camping over night in front of book stores to get the new installment. The movies causing such a stir. I mean, really? A bit ridiculous, right? All it is is a classic good versus evil children's story. Right??
Now, here it is, 15 years after the first book was released, as well as all subsequent books and movies, that I decided it was time to find out what makes The Boy Who Lived so freaking special. I have seen a couple of the movies already, and knew enough about the general plot (i.e. I knew Dumbledore was going to die at the hand of Snape) that I didn't really feel like much of it would come as a surprise. At any rate, on June 6, I dove in. Little did I know what I would discover....
Voldemort: What I learned from You-Know-Who is that knowledge isn't everything. I have a tendency to be a bit of a know it all. I like to know everything about everything. Knowledge is power, right? But what you do with that knowledge makes a difference. Tom Riddle sought immortality simply by learning more and more powerful magic. But he tended to overlook the subtleties of such magic, and of course, love. There is the obvious lesson we are to take from his death. But I can't help thinking about his resentment toward his mother for dying. I wonder if she had lived, if young Tom would have been different. Perhaps his quest for immortality was in answer to his anger at her death.
Loving the unlovable: Hagrid and Luna were great examples of this. Hagrid, with his penchant for dangerous creatures, and Luna talking about things that no one else believed in and being ridiculed for it. Hagrid was able to tame and become friends with Aragog the spider (for which he was expelled from Hogwarts), Buckbeak the hippogriff. He even tamed his giant half-brother, Grawp. And who could forget his love for Norbert the dragon? Where others cringed and were afraid, Hagrid saw a creature worthy of love and affection. Luna was just a socially awkward witch. Her dad was odd, so she was odd. None of the others were thrilled about befriending her. But when Harry saw her bedroom with the pictures of their group, with the word "friends" linking the pictures, my heart went out to Luna. Surely she had spent her life being an outcast. The simple fact that Harry and the others were simply polite and tolerated her at first led to a friendship that she cherished. There's also Hermoine and S.P.E.W. Yes, she was obnoxious about it, but think of Dobby and Winky. She had a point. Griphook the goblin was in awe of Harry rescuing a house elf and himself from Malfoy Manor. He couldn't believe that Harry would dig a grave for Dobby. Kreacher was singing about Harry being the friend of the house elves in the heat of battle. Tonks loved Lupin despite his "condition." There is something to love in everyone.
Fred and George: These two are incredible! They didn't fit the mold, and certainly didn't take the path their mother wanted them to. However, their brilliance was completely evident. It reminds us that just because someone likes to have fun, doesn't mean they aren't to be taken seriously. It also reminds us that just because someone doesn't follow the prescribed life that everyone else has led, doesn't mean that they are on the wrong path for themselves. I still get teary-eyed over Fred.
The Order of the Phoenix (the book): Not gonna lie. This book made me want to punch every single character in the throat at one point. So, what did I learn? Well, sometimes even very very bad people get away with being very very bad people. And it makes me want to punch them in the throat. But that's life.
Neville: Quite possibly my most favorite character in the series. I can't quite explain my affection for Neville. Maybe it's because he could have so easily been in Harry's place. Thinking about his parents makes me so sad for him. Thinking about his skill in Herbology makes me happy. His toad, Trevor, always trying to get away from him is hilarious. And not least of all, his bravery is astounding. He turns into such a badass that he's hardly the kid from the first book. He so stubbornly wants to fight, even if he's not the best wizard around, and it's so endearing. He doesn't let any injury beset him. And then through his bravery, the Sword of Gryffindor is bestowed upon him. A true Gryffindor.The best moment ever is when he says his gran is proud of him. I frequently said out loud, "Aw, Neville!" throughout the series. He is gentle-hearted, well-meaning, and completely manly when he needs to be. I think every man needs to be like Neville.
A mother's love: Lily Potter. Cissy Malfoy. Molly Weasley. Harry would be dead if it weren't for these three women. In the end, Narcissa's motherly love for Draco causes her to forsake Voldemort and even lie about Harry being dead. Molly is the epitome of a mother bear. She was constantly vigilant over her family and Harry. The most heartbreaking scene with her is when she is overcome by the bogart in the Order's headquarters. And whatever you do, don't try to kill one of her children. You will die. I don't think I need to explain the significance of Lily's love for Harry. If I do, then you weren't paying attention to the story at all.
Ginny: Ginny is an amazingly supportive woman who isn't going to put her life on hold for any man. Even the Chosen One. And in true Weasley fashion, she is brave and a tough fighter.
Dudley: You can grow up in a home where you witness cruel abuse and discrimination, and still turn out to be a decent human being. Even if you didn't start out that way. "I don't think you're a waste of space." *tear!*
Sirius: Sometimes life just kicks your behind. But don't forget who you are. Don't forget the true friendships and commitments to those friends which you have made. If you get taken from this life in an untimely way, do so while fighting for the ones you love.
Friendship: Ron and Hermoine are true friends to Harry. They could have very easily said, "Oh the Dark Lord wants to kill you and everyone close to you? Umm...I'm busy." Especially as the situation grew more and more grim. But they didn't. Their loyalty to Harry in the face of the most terrible adversity is something rarely found here in the real world. Yes, Ron left for a little while. But he came back. He realized the error of his ways, and the timing of his return was impeccable. As Harry said, "Dumbledore must've known you'd want to come back." Sometimes friends fight. Sometimes things get hard in relationships. Sometimes it seems easier to just walk away. But a true friend is not just there for the good times. You know the term "fair weather friends"? Ron and Hermoine are not those kind of friends. Harry needed his friends with him, much like Frodo needed Samwise (now I'm truly showing my inner geek). If we are to face the darkest times in our lives, we need our friends with us. They encourage us when we falter, they are strong when we are weak, and they will not let you go it alone.
The Weasley Family: The Weasleys are a pure-blood family. But they are willing to befriend muggle-borns, werewolves, half-giants, or whoever you may be. They do not claim to be better than any other person. So many times in our own world, people get caught up in their own self-righteousness. People hold their religion up as a reason they are better than others. People hold their race or socio-economic status up as a reason they are better than others. People hold the fact that they've been discriminated against as a reason they are better than others. Let's follow the Weasley's example and just accept everyone. Let's be excited to learn from those who are different than us.
Harry: Harry was not perfect. He was actually a bit of a whiny brat at times. But what I truly admired about him was that he wanted everyone to be safe and happy. Voldemort knew that Harry had a thing for saving people and tried to use that knowledge to his advantage. But in the end, Harry knew that to save his friends, he himself would have to die. So he laid his own life at Voldemort's feet. Completely and utterly selfless.
Forgiveness: Three words: Albus Severus Potter. You could've knocked me over with a feather when I read that.
Harry Potter has deeply affected me. Those of you who read the books a long time ago are probably thinking, "Duhhhh!!!" Truly, this blog only scratches the surface of the way the story has moved me. I find myself thinking more fondly of my loved ones who have passed away. I want to be sure that my friends and family know how much I love and appreciate them. My inner former beauty queen wants to revive my "World Peace" tendencies in earnest. This year has been one filled with many happy moments for myself and many of my friends and loved ones. There have been new jobs, engagements, marriages, babies, college graduations, high school graduations (including a valedictorian), Miss Nevada, success in following dreams, homecoming from the Navy, new love, new friendships, and lots of laughter. Truly, there has been a reason to smile every single day. Reading Harry Potter at a time in my life like this has reinforced my desire to love others and to cherish the relationships I have. I want to love so deeply that I'm able to come to the end of my life and say, "Always."
Monday, July 30, 2012
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Love is Blind
I believe in equal marriage rights. All the hub-bub of gay marriage, and states actually defining marriage as between one man and one woman is so ludicrous to me. It wasn't all that long ago that interracial couples were barred from being married. It wasn't until the Supreme Court struck down anti-miscegenation laws in 1967, that men and women of different races could marry throughout the country. Some individual states allowed it previously to that, but the landmark case of Loving v. Virgina made it possible for love of all colors to enter lawfully wedded bliss. I firmly believe that eventually the same thing will happen to allow love of all genders the same privilege.
I recently went to get my hair done, and my stylist shared the news that she is pregnant. I did the typical girl thing and jumped up and down squealing and clapping my hands. She and her partner have been talking about getting pregnant for a while. In Nevada, people can register as domestic partners, and these two did that about a year ago. But it has still been a challenge for them with doctor's offices and work benefits. If they could just get married, in my own humble opinion, things would be much easier for them. They have been together for years now. They own a home together, and they are about to raise a child together. Just let them get married, for crying out loud!! I have known so many same sex couples who are loving and devoted to each other. Whose relationships are stronger than many opposite sex couples I have known. It just isn't fair for one group of people to limit the rights of another group of people, when the oppressed group is otherwise law-abiding and contributing members of society.
During this same hair appointment, my stylist told me about the Manny Pacquiao debacle. For those who don't know, Pacquiao stated to a journalist that he is against gay marriage, and the reporter noted that Pacquiao quoted Leviticus 20:13. This particular verse states: "If a man practices homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman, both men have committed a detestable act. They must both be put to death, for they are guilty of a capital offense." She and I discussed this for a little while, and I'll share my opinion with you in just a moment. But first, to be clear, Pacquiao has since denied even knowing the existence of this verse, and the reporter has admitted that he fabricated the quote. Of course, we like to take our little sound bites and run with them regardless of context. I decided to pull out my Bible and read the entire chapter. And what did I find, but a verse that would put me to death as well as many other laws under which good ol' fashioned hetero-sex is punishable by death. (Verse 10 is the verse which applies to me. I'll let you look it up.)
Okay, so my opinion on the religious spin. It irritates me to no end when people want to bring religion to the table. Mind you, I'm a Christian myself, and I go to church more often than not as well as read the Bible on an almost daily basis. I have a Bible app on my phone. I believe Pacquiao when he says he's never heard of this verse. Leviticus is in the Old Testament. As a Christian I can tell you that not a lot of time is spent in Leviticus. It is the book of old Jewish law. You know the ten commandments and Moses and all that? Leviticus is the expansion on that. And since the Christian view is that we cannot possibly live every precept of the law. That is why Jesus came to Earth. To meet the demands of justice as required by the law. But he also taught us a great deal about love and not judging others. We all need Jesus. We are all in need of redemption, whether we are gay or straight. That is my opinion based on my own studies of the Bible and my own experiences with people. Obviously there are other opinions out there, but ya know, I just can't get past the whole "God is love" thing. That seems to be the permeating idea to me about God. And Jesus told us to love each other as proof that we are his disciples. He did not say, "Except for the gay people. Don't love them."
Now let's move away from the religion thing, and onto the other statement that I find completely ignorant. Being homosexual is not a choice. I am straight. I didn't choose to be straight. When I was a little girl, I saw the cute boys on the playground and I chased them down so I could kiss them. It wasn't a value my parents instilled in me. I just went after those boys. I chose to be vegetarian. I wasn't a vegetarian for much of my life, but then I decided that I wanted to try it out. So far it's working for me. That is a lifestyle choice. Not sexuality. If you could choose it, wouldn't you just pick being straight so you could avoid all the bullying, harassment, judgement, and disenfranchisement that you would meet if you chose to be gay? Sure, I get some flack for being veggie, but no one is beating me up for it. No one is telling me I'm going to hell for it. No one is passing laws against me. I'm all for laws that keep people safe from the bad decisions made by others: drinking and driving, robbery, rape, murder, even anti-smoking laws. When one person's actions directly affects the health and safety of another person, we shouldn't allow it. But I don't see how the marriage of two people of the same sex is going to threaten the health and safety of the marriage of two people of opposite sexes. People get married everyday. I live in Vegas, so lots of people are getting married everyday. It does not affect me. I go about my life and no amount of marriage taking place bothers me. I'm certain it wouldn't make a difference if it was gay marriage taking place.
Obviously, this topic has been weighing on my mind a lot lately. My stylist and her partner are just an example of the great people in my life that are denied the privilege of matrimony simply because of their sexuality. It's quite ridiculous. It breaks my heart, really. On one hand, I'm glad we're ahead of India, which just this year decriminalized homosexuality. But we cannot hold ourselves up as lovers of freedom when we withhold that freedom from a segment of our citizens.
I recently went to get my hair done, and my stylist shared the news that she is pregnant. I did the typical girl thing and jumped up and down squealing and clapping my hands. She and her partner have been talking about getting pregnant for a while. In Nevada, people can register as domestic partners, and these two did that about a year ago. But it has still been a challenge for them with doctor's offices and work benefits. If they could just get married, in my own humble opinion, things would be much easier for them. They have been together for years now. They own a home together, and they are about to raise a child together. Just let them get married, for crying out loud!! I have known so many same sex couples who are loving and devoted to each other. Whose relationships are stronger than many opposite sex couples I have known. It just isn't fair for one group of people to limit the rights of another group of people, when the oppressed group is otherwise law-abiding and contributing members of society.
During this same hair appointment, my stylist told me about the Manny Pacquiao debacle. For those who don't know, Pacquiao stated to a journalist that he is against gay marriage, and the reporter noted that Pacquiao quoted Leviticus 20:13. This particular verse states: "If a man practices homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman, both men have committed a detestable act. They must both be put to death, for they are guilty of a capital offense." She and I discussed this for a little while, and I'll share my opinion with you in just a moment. But first, to be clear, Pacquiao has since denied even knowing the existence of this verse, and the reporter has admitted that he fabricated the quote. Of course, we like to take our little sound bites and run with them regardless of context. I decided to pull out my Bible and read the entire chapter. And what did I find, but a verse that would put me to death as well as many other laws under which good ol' fashioned hetero-sex is punishable by death. (Verse 10 is the verse which applies to me. I'll let you look it up.)
Okay, so my opinion on the religious spin. It irritates me to no end when people want to bring religion to the table. Mind you, I'm a Christian myself, and I go to church more often than not as well as read the Bible on an almost daily basis. I have a Bible app on my phone. I believe Pacquiao when he says he's never heard of this verse. Leviticus is in the Old Testament. As a Christian I can tell you that not a lot of time is spent in Leviticus. It is the book of old Jewish law. You know the ten commandments and Moses and all that? Leviticus is the expansion on that. And since the Christian view is that we cannot possibly live every precept of the law. That is why Jesus came to Earth. To meet the demands of justice as required by the law. But he also taught us a great deal about love and not judging others. We all need Jesus. We are all in need of redemption, whether we are gay or straight. That is my opinion based on my own studies of the Bible and my own experiences with people. Obviously there are other opinions out there, but ya know, I just can't get past the whole "God is love" thing. That seems to be the permeating idea to me about God. And Jesus told us to love each other as proof that we are his disciples. He did not say, "Except for the gay people. Don't love them."
Now let's move away from the religion thing, and onto the other statement that I find completely ignorant. Being homosexual is not a choice. I am straight. I didn't choose to be straight. When I was a little girl, I saw the cute boys on the playground and I chased them down so I could kiss them. It wasn't a value my parents instilled in me. I just went after those boys. I chose to be vegetarian. I wasn't a vegetarian for much of my life, but then I decided that I wanted to try it out. So far it's working for me. That is a lifestyle choice. Not sexuality. If you could choose it, wouldn't you just pick being straight so you could avoid all the bullying, harassment, judgement, and disenfranchisement that you would meet if you chose to be gay? Sure, I get some flack for being veggie, but no one is beating me up for it. No one is telling me I'm going to hell for it. No one is passing laws against me. I'm all for laws that keep people safe from the bad decisions made by others: drinking and driving, robbery, rape, murder, even anti-smoking laws. When one person's actions directly affects the health and safety of another person, we shouldn't allow it. But I don't see how the marriage of two people of the same sex is going to threaten the health and safety of the marriage of two people of opposite sexes. People get married everyday. I live in Vegas, so lots of people are getting married everyday. It does not affect me. I go about my life and no amount of marriage taking place bothers me. I'm certain it wouldn't make a difference if it was gay marriage taking place.
Obviously, this topic has been weighing on my mind a lot lately. My stylist and her partner are just an example of the great people in my life that are denied the privilege of matrimony simply because of their sexuality. It's quite ridiculous. It breaks my heart, really. On one hand, I'm glad we're ahead of India, which just this year decriminalized homosexuality. But we cannot hold ourselves up as lovers of freedom when we withhold that freedom from a segment of our citizens.
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them"
-Mother Teresa
Monday, April 30, 2012
Happiness
I believe that happiness could be a bit more elusive than love. Everyone tries to define love, figure it out, find it, hold onto it. But how many people truly do the same for happiness? All we really tell ourselves about happiness is that money can't buy it, we have to choose it, and you shouldn't rely on others to get it. That's a ridiculously cynical view on, well, being happy. Why do we do this to ourselves? We say we want to be happy, but then we'll settle for the things that make us just ok. Why?? I do want to be happy. And while I have my own set-backs (i.e. the emotional break down I had over my algebra class two nights ago), I generally do my best to fill my life with the things that will bring me, you guessed it, happiness.
When it comes to being happy, I've learned that life is not a treadmill. I have always hated running on treadmills. It's boring. You do all that work, and you really have gotten nowhere. I love running outside. The actual wind is in my hair. The actual pavement is beneath my feet. The actual destination is in the distance and I am making my way towards it. When I crossed the finish line of my first half-marathon, the feeling was absolutely incomparable. I had set out to do something that I never in my life thought I would even want to attempt. And I did it. And I didn't die. I was so overjoyed and proud of myself for accomplishing this great feat. That's how life is. You can run on the treadmill. At least you're getting the exercise, right? You can wake up every morning and do the same old thing and never take risks, because God forbid you fail. Life moves forward, and if you stay stagnant, before you know it, you'll be behind. Get off your life treadmill and go do something that you love. Or something you've always wanted to try. Or something you're terrified of. I'm willing to bet you won't regret it.
Second, Gandhi was a genius when he said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." I have volunteered for and donated to many charitable causes throughout the years. As a human being, I cannot stand back and see other people in need and not want to help. If you have never volunteered for anything in your life, you are missing out! You have talents, skills, and a smile that will change someone's life forever. It is so humbling to feed the homeless, refurbish a home, read to kids in a hospital, raise money for a cure, etc. I don't know about you, but it makes me think of all that I am blessed with, and to be able to be a blessing in another person's life, is... well... I'm getting choked up right now thinking about it. When I was Miss Clark County in 2004, I was speaking in a middle school health class about hearing loss, which was my platform. I taught them facts about hearing loss, how to prevent it, and how to communicate better with family members who may have hearing loss. Then I popped out my hearing aids and sang some opera to them to show that even if someone has a disability, they are still capable of great things. After the class, one of the students came up to me and said, "Thank you for teaching us about that. Now I can talk to my little brother easier." Damn. You could have knocked me over with a feather. You just never know when you're going to make an impact. So, get out there and make an impact!
I am not in control of my own life. Sure, I decide the little things like what to eat for lunch, and how many times I'm going to hit the snooze button in the morning. And, yes, I made the decision to quit my job and go back to school. But I feel like that was all part of some master plan not made by me. Whenever I try to control something, it falls apart. I get too controlling, for lack of a better term. And like a toddler who doesn't know that the square peg won't fit in the round hole, I try to make whatever xyz situation work. And it just doesn't. Because, despite my intelligence, independence and stubbornness, I really don't know it all. Don't tell my family I just admitted that. But truly, I will control something to death. When I let my life grow organically, that is when I am happiest. When I let God do His job, and I do mine, that is when I am happiest. I don't think it was really my idea to go back to school. I was successful in my banking career. I could have gone pretty far with it. But my heart felt led away from it. The more I fought that feeling, the more dissatisfied I was with banking. Mind you, I'm sick of school now that I'm two years in. But the thought of the path that awaits me when I graduate just gets me all kinds of excited. I don't even know what that path looks like exactly. But I don't care. I just know that whatever it is, it's exactly what I was meant to do.
Finally, I love to have what I call "American Beauty" moments. At the end of the movie, Kevin Spacey delivers that last monologue about all the beauty in the world, and how he just can't take it all in. I love getting lost in moments like those. I'm slightly obsessed with sunsets because they are so gorgeous. I was recently in Miami, and at one point I was sitting on the beach, looking out at the ocean, and it was so beautiful. I didn't even realize the tears that were streaming down my face. I was so overwhelmed at the beauty and power of the ocean and its secrets that I just couldn't help it. We get so caught up in our daily grind, aka the treadmill, that we don't pause often enough to truly appreciate this wonderful world and life that we have.
So those are some of my secrets to being happy. No magic pill. No 600-page self-help book. Nothing to buy. That's it. Now go be happy!
When it comes to being happy, I've learned that life is not a treadmill. I have always hated running on treadmills. It's boring. You do all that work, and you really have gotten nowhere. I love running outside. The actual wind is in my hair. The actual pavement is beneath my feet. The actual destination is in the distance and I am making my way towards it. When I crossed the finish line of my first half-marathon, the feeling was absolutely incomparable. I had set out to do something that I never in my life thought I would even want to attempt. And I did it. And I didn't die. I was so overjoyed and proud of myself for accomplishing this great feat. That's how life is. You can run on the treadmill. At least you're getting the exercise, right? You can wake up every morning and do the same old thing and never take risks, because God forbid you fail. Life moves forward, and if you stay stagnant, before you know it, you'll be behind. Get off your life treadmill and go do something that you love. Or something you've always wanted to try. Or something you're terrified of. I'm willing to bet you won't regret it.
Second, Gandhi was a genius when he said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." I have volunteered for and donated to many charitable causes throughout the years. As a human being, I cannot stand back and see other people in need and not want to help. If you have never volunteered for anything in your life, you are missing out! You have talents, skills, and a smile that will change someone's life forever. It is so humbling to feed the homeless, refurbish a home, read to kids in a hospital, raise money for a cure, etc. I don't know about you, but it makes me think of all that I am blessed with, and to be able to be a blessing in another person's life, is... well... I'm getting choked up right now thinking about it. When I was Miss Clark County in 2004, I was speaking in a middle school health class about hearing loss, which was my platform. I taught them facts about hearing loss, how to prevent it, and how to communicate better with family members who may have hearing loss. Then I popped out my hearing aids and sang some opera to them to show that even if someone has a disability, they are still capable of great things. After the class, one of the students came up to me and said, "Thank you for teaching us about that. Now I can talk to my little brother easier." Damn. You could have knocked me over with a feather. You just never know when you're going to make an impact. So, get out there and make an impact!
I am not in control of my own life. Sure, I decide the little things like what to eat for lunch, and how many times I'm going to hit the snooze button in the morning. And, yes, I made the decision to quit my job and go back to school. But I feel like that was all part of some master plan not made by me. Whenever I try to control something, it falls apart. I get too controlling, for lack of a better term. And like a toddler who doesn't know that the square peg won't fit in the round hole, I try to make whatever xyz situation work. And it just doesn't. Because, despite my intelligence, independence and stubbornness, I really don't know it all. Don't tell my family I just admitted that. But truly, I will control something to death. When I let my life grow organically, that is when I am happiest. When I let God do His job, and I do mine, that is when I am happiest. I don't think it was really my idea to go back to school. I was successful in my banking career. I could have gone pretty far with it. But my heart felt led away from it. The more I fought that feeling, the more dissatisfied I was with banking. Mind you, I'm sick of school now that I'm two years in. But the thought of the path that awaits me when I graduate just gets me all kinds of excited. I don't even know what that path looks like exactly. But I don't care. I just know that whatever it is, it's exactly what I was meant to do.
Finally, I love to have what I call "American Beauty" moments. At the end of the movie, Kevin Spacey delivers that last monologue about all the beauty in the world, and how he just can't take it all in. I love getting lost in moments like those. I'm slightly obsessed with sunsets because they are so gorgeous. I was recently in Miami, and at one point I was sitting on the beach, looking out at the ocean, and it was so beautiful. I didn't even realize the tears that were streaming down my face. I was so overwhelmed at the beauty and power of the ocean and its secrets that I just couldn't help it. We get so caught up in our daily grind, aka the treadmill, that we don't pause often enough to truly appreciate this wonderful world and life that we have.
So those are some of my secrets to being happy. No magic pill. No 600-page self-help book. Nothing to buy. That's it. Now go be happy!
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Names I Answer To
This is a list of some of my nicknames. If you don't already call me by one of these names, this blog is not permission for you to start calling me them. Nicknames are earned. Some of them are in the past, and some are current. Each name has a special meaning to me and carries good memories. I've chosen to share some of those memories with you. I hope you enjoy, and that you think of some of your nicknames and wander down your own memory lane.
Dolly. This is what my family calls me. When I was a teenager I hated it. My sister is ten years younger than me, and she thought my actual name was Dolly. She heard someone call me Maryn and said, "That's not Maryn, that's Dolly!" When my baby brother was born, I was a senior in high school, and I forbade anyone from calling me Dolly so he could learn my real name. He once heard someone call me Dolly and he said, "That's not Dolly, that's Maywin!"
Dolly-Olly.
Maywin.
Flower.
Angel Face. My daddy called me this when I was little.
Sweetheart Girl. My daddy still calls me this.
Sugar Fingers. I was the only one allowed to eat cookie dough out of the bowl because my fingers were made of sugar. I was my daddy's little girl. :)
Red. My coworkers at the bank called me this. How I went through my life until my mid-20's before being called Red, I'll never know. But I love the handful of people who do call me Red. It was a good time in my life.
Ginger.
Mar-Mar.
Mar/Mer. Some people spell it with an A and one person spells it with an E.
Little One.
Little Foot. I was actually only called this once. I laughed at the person who called me this so hard that it was never uttered again. It was a funny circumstance, though.
Little Sparkle.
Little Rainbow.
Little Sis.
Big Brownies. Those would be my eyes.
Bird.
Boss.
The Enforcer. I earned this name at the ripe old age of 4 or 5. I bossed my brothers around a lot. What do you expect? I was the only girl for 10 years. I still boss them around.
Ma-Russ.
Samantha. As in Sex and the City.
Ninja.
Marinated.
Marijuana. This is what some boys in junior high called me because it was the most creative insult they could come up with for my name. I laughed at them.
Pageant Mommy.
Miss Russell.
Alisha. This is the name I tell guys in clubs that I don't want to talk to.
Trouble.
Names that have appeared on my Starbucks cups: Meredith, Mary, Merin, Maron, Marin, Maren, Marion, Marilyn, Myran, Myron, Miriam, Maryann. You'd think they would just ask how to spell it.
Dolly. This is what my family calls me. When I was a teenager I hated it. My sister is ten years younger than me, and she thought my actual name was Dolly. She heard someone call me Maryn and said, "That's not Maryn, that's Dolly!" When my baby brother was born, I was a senior in high school, and I forbade anyone from calling me Dolly so he could learn my real name. He once heard someone call me Dolly and he said, "That's not Dolly, that's Maywin!"
Dolly-Olly.
Maywin.
Flower.
Angel Face. My daddy called me this when I was little.
Sweetheart Girl. My daddy still calls me this.
Sugar Fingers. I was the only one allowed to eat cookie dough out of the bowl because my fingers were made of sugar. I was my daddy's little girl. :)
Red. My coworkers at the bank called me this. How I went through my life until my mid-20's before being called Red, I'll never know. But I love the handful of people who do call me Red. It was a good time in my life.
Ginger.
Mar-Mar.
Mar/Mer. Some people spell it with an A and one person spells it with an E.
Little One.
Little Foot. I was actually only called this once. I laughed at the person who called me this so hard that it was never uttered again. It was a funny circumstance, though.
Little Sparkle.
Little Rainbow.
Little Sis.
Big Brownies. Those would be my eyes.
Bird.
Boss.
The Enforcer. I earned this name at the ripe old age of 4 or 5. I bossed my brothers around a lot. What do you expect? I was the only girl for 10 years. I still boss them around.
Ma-Russ.
Samantha. As in Sex and the City.
Ninja.
Marinated.
Marijuana. This is what some boys in junior high called me because it was the most creative insult they could come up with for my name. I laughed at them.
Pageant Mommy.
Miss Russell.
Alisha. This is the name I tell guys in clubs that I don't want to talk to.
Trouble.
Names that have appeared on my Starbucks cups: Meredith, Mary, Merin, Maron, Marin, Maren, Marion, Marilyn, Myran, Myron, Miriam, Maryann. You'd think they would just ask how to spell it.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
In a Rut.
I positively hate the feeling of being in a rut. It sorta makes me feel like a failure. Like, why am I not blissfully happy with my life the way I normally am? Why is everything boring? Why do I want to be by myself all the time? All I know for sure is this: the last two times I was in a rut this bad, drastic changes occurred in my life that took me to an even greater level of happiness. The first time, my ex dumped me. Yes, I bawled my eyes out like a baby and watched the entire season of the Bachelorette that year. But when the dust settled, I was happier than I could ever remember being. The second time, I quit my job and went back to school. Right now it's hard because I want the end product, despite knowing that I need to get through the means first.
I wonder what will happen this time. I'm carefully taking inventory of what my life currently entails, and deciding what's important and what isn't. I'm ready to either take action to make a change, or confront a change that occurs from the outside. Either way, a new and imporved Maryn is on the way. Even though it kind of sucks right now to be on the brink and be bored with the status quo, I can feel the excitement starting to course through my veins. Something is going to happen this year. I just know it. Stay tuned.
I wonder what will happen this time. I'm carefully taking inventory of what my life currently entails, and deciding what's important and what isn't. I'm ready to either take action to make a change, or confront a change that occurs from the outside. Either way, a new and imporved Maryn is on the way. Even though it kind of sucks right now to be on the brink and be bored with the status quo, I can feel the excitement starting to course through my veins. Something is going to happen this year. I just know it. Stay tuned.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Hola, me llamo es Maryn.
I'm finally taking a Spanish class. I never took a language in high school. I took two semesters of Italian during my first round of college, but I couldn't hold a conversation in that language. Ironic, since I have Italian words tattooed on my back. But, I digress. Spanish class. For almost a decade now I have told myself that I need to learn Spanish. I have worked with several Hispanic people and have always asked them to teach me a little bit. This has helped me a little. As in, I can speak extremely broken Spanglish if I'm absolutely pressed to to so. But asking a co-worker to "check la basura, por favor," is hardly what I'd call conversational. I also know that learning Spanish will help me to communicate with more customers. When I was a banker, it was always easier to say, "un momento, por favor," to the customer, and then, "Espanol, por favor!!!" to one of my coworkers when trying to explain the reason for an overdrawn account and the accompanying charges. At least I'm really good at saying "please."
Bright and early this morning I read the Spanish prompts my teacher wrote on the board for us to introduce ourselves. I read the prompts from the board, telling my name, where I'm from, my hobbies and my major. Luckily I can pronounce the words I see written. I wouldn't call it reading. But thanks to my foreign diction for singers class I took ten years ago, I can look at the language, and at least know how to pronounce the stuff. Of course, I finished the sentences in English. I mean, how do you say "karaoke" in Spanish? At any rate, I'm excited to learn a language that is so prevelant and useful these days. I feel that, as Americans, the importance of learning another language just isn't engrained in us. We expect everyone else to learn English. There was a time I had a customer at the bank who complained to me that two Hispanic tellers spoke to each other in "their language" and I shouldn't allow it. He said something along the lines of, "it makes them seem less intelligent." This got my blood boiling! I asked the customer what, if any, other languages he spoke, and he replied that he speaks the best lanuguage only: English. With a smile on my face, I told him that my tellers were quite intelligent because, in fact, they speak two languages to his one, and if the issue is that he actually feels intimidated by the fact that he only speaks one language, I'd be happy to let my tellers know to only speak English around him so he didn't feel left out. He shut up after that.
So the adventure begins for me. The world of bilingualism. I hope. Fortunately, there are many people around me who can help me practice, as well. My coworkers, some friends, and even one of my brothers. Now I just need to go buy my text book, entitled "Vistas." Or as my teacher would say, "Beestas."
Bright and early this morning I read the Spanish prompts my teacher wrote on the board for us to introduce ourselves. I read the prompts from the board, telling my name, where I'm from, my hobbies and my major. Luckily I can pronounce the words I see written. I wouldn't call it reading. But thanks to my foreign diction for singers class I took ten years ago, I can look at the language, and at least know how to pronounce the stuff. Of course, I finished the sentences in English. I mean, how do you say "karaoke" in Spanish? At any rate, I'm excited to learn a language that is so prevelant and useful these days. I feel that, as Americans, the importance of learning another language just isn't engrained in us. We expect everyone else to learn English. There was a time I had a customer at the bank who complained to me that two Hispanic tellers spoke to each other in "their language" and I shouldn't allow it. He said something along the lines of, "it makes them seem less intelligent." This got my blood boiling! I asked the customer what, if any, other languages he spoke, and he replied that he speaks the best lanuguage only: English. With a smile on my face, I told him that my tellers were quite intelligent because, in fact, they speak two languages to his one, and if the issue is that he actually feels intimidated by the fact that he only speaks one language, I'd be happy to let my tellers know to only speak English around him so he didn't feel left out. He shut up after that.
So the adventure begins for me. The world of bilingualism. I hope. Fortunately, there are many people around me who can help me practice, as well. My coworkers, some friends, and even one of my brothers. Now I just need to go buy my text book, entitled "Vistas." Or as my teacher would say, "Beestas."
Monday, December 26, 2011
New Year's Resolutions 2012
I know that most New Year's Resolutions aren't achieved. I even read an article recently on the science behind our failure to keep our resolutions. It has something to do with our brains being overloaded, or something. I don't remember all of it. There was a lot of information to take in. However, I remain an optimist, and a person who believes in the value of goal-setting to improve oneself. The other option is complacency. At the end of the year, I can tell by my tendency to lounge around on the couch in my pj's at any given opportunity that I have become complacent. The new year is the perfect time for me to kick myself in the butt and work toward a better me. For a few years my resolution was simply to break status quo. That worked out quite well. I conquered fears, started new good habits, and tried new things. In 2012, I will be working on specific goals. Hopefully I can stick with them.
1) Stop using plastic shopping bags and only use reusable bags. It costs more to recycle plastic bags to make them, they are a hazard to wildlife, and they release greenhouse gasses into the atmosphere when they break down.
2) Lose ten pounds. This will be the year I get back to my competition weight. Trust me, this potbelly I suck in all the time is not cute.
3) Stick to a budget. It would be nice to pay my bills without holding my breath.
4) Give more of my time and money to charitable causes. There are so many with greater needs than myself.
5) Study smarter. I would really like to excel in my course work and earn a good GPA to get into grad school eventually. Plus, the more I put into the learning, the more I'll be able to help people once I'm in my career.
So that's it. Five simple resolutions. I'm actually quite excited about them. We'll see how having a passion for the resolutions plays out in action. But as I always tell myself, your priorities are set by your actions, not your words. Time to go do.
1) Stop using plastic shopping bags and only use reusable bags. It costs more to recycle plastic bags to make them, they are a hazard to wildlife, and they release greenhouse gasses into the atmosphere when they break down.
2) Lose ten pounds. This will be the year I get back to my competition weight. Trust me, this potbelly I suck in all the time is not cute.
3) Stick to a budget. It would be nice to pay my bills without holding my breath.
4) Give more of my time and money to charitable causes. There are so many with greater needs than myself.
5) Study smarter. I would really like to excel in my course work and earn a good GPA to get into grad school eventually. Plus, the more I put into the learning, the more I'll be able to help people once I'm in my career.
So that's it. Five simple resolutions. I'm actually quite excited about them. We'll see how having a passion for the resolutions plays out in action. But as I always tell myself, your priorities are set by your actions, not your words. Time to go do.
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