I believe that happiness could be a bit more elusive than love. Everyone tries to define love, figure it out, find it, hold onto it. But how many people truly do the same for happiness? All we really tell ourselves about happiness is that money can't buy it, we have to choose it, and you shouldn't rely on others to get it. That's a ridiculously cynical view on, well, being happy. Why do we do this to ourselves? We say we want to be happy, but then we'll settle for the things that make us just ok. Why?? I do want to be happy. And while I have my own set-backs (i.e. the emotional break down I had over my algebra class two nights ago), I generally do my best to fill my life with the things that will bring me, you guessed it, happiness.
When it comes to being happy, I've learned that life is not a treadmill. I have always hated running on treadmills. It's boring. You do all that work, and you really have gotten nowhere. I love running outside. The actual wind is in my hair. The actual pavement is beneath my feet. The actual destination is in the distance and I am making my way towards it. When I crossed the finish line of my first half-marathon, the feeling was absolutely incomparable. I had set out to do something that I never in my life thought I would even want to attempt. And I did it. And I didn't die. I was so overjoyed and proud of myself for accomplishing this great feat. That's how life is. You can run on the treadmill. At least you're getting the exercise, right? You can wake up every morning and do the same old thing and never take risks, because God forbid you fail. Life moves forward, and if you stay stagnant, before you know it, you'll be behind. Get off your life treadmill and go do something that you love. Or something you've always wanted to try. Or something you're terrified of. I'm willing to bet you won't regret it.
Second, Gandhi was a genius when he said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." I have volunteered for and donated to many charitable causes throughout the years. As a human being, I cannot stand back and see other people in need and not want to help. If you have never volunteered for anything in your life, you are missing out! You have talents, skills, and a smile that will change someone's life forever. It is so humbling to feed the homeless, refurbish a home, read to kids in a hospital, raise money for a cure, etc. I don't know about you, but it makes me think of all that I am blessed with, and to be able to be a blessing in another person's life, is... well... I'm getting choked up right now thinking about it. When I was Miss Clark County in 2004, I was speaking in a middle school health class about hearing loss, which was my platform. I taught them facts about hearing loss, how to prevent it, and how to communicate better with family members who may have hearing loss. Then I popped out my hearing aids and sang some opera to them to show that even if someone has a disability, they are still capable of great things. After the class, one of the students came up to me and said, "Thank you for teaching us about that. Now I can talk to my little brother easier." Damn. You could have knocked me over with a feather. You just never know when you're going to make an impact. So, get out there and make an impact!
I am not in control of my own life. Sure, I decide the little things like what to eat for lunch, and how many times I'm going to hit the snooze button in the morning. And, yes, I made the decision to quit my job and go back to school. But I feel like that was all part of some master plan not made by me. Whenever I try to control something, it falls apart. I get too controlling, for lack of a better term. And like a toddler who doesn't know that the square peg won't fit in the round hole, I try to make whatever xyz situation work. And it just doesn't. Because, despite my intelligence, independence and stubbornness, I really don't know it all. Don't tell my family I just admitted that. But truly, I will control something to death. When I let my life grow organically, that is when I am happiest. When I let God do His job, and I do mine, that is when I am happiest. I don't think it was really my idea to go back to school. I was successful in my banking career. I could have gone pretty far with it. But my heart felt led away from it. The more I fought that feeling, the more dissatisfied I was with banking. Mind you, I'm sick of school now that I'm two years in. But the thought of the path that awaits me when I graduate just gets me all kinds of excited. I don't even know what that path looks like exactly. But I don't care. I just know that whatever it is, it's exactly what I was meant to do.
Finally, I love to have what I call "American Beauty" moments. At the end of the movie, Kevin Spacey delivers that last monologue about all the beauty in the world, and how he just can't take it all in. I love getting lost in moments like those. I'm slightly obsessed with sunsets because they are so gorgeous. I was recently in Miami, and at one point I was sitting on the beach, looking out at the ocean, and it was so beautiful. I didn't even realize the tears that were streaming down my face. I was so overwhelmed at the beauty and power of the ocean and its secrets that I just couldn't help it. We get so caught up in our daily grind, aka the treadmill, that we don't pause often enough to truly appreciate this wonderful world and life that we have.
So those are some of my secrets to being happy. No magic pill. No 600-page self-help book. Nothing to buy. That's it. Now go be happy!
